Chapter 12 - Craving Peace In A Cruel World

Man, getting out of bed was relief. I thought I was going to be stuck there forever! The hearing wasn't anything special. I guess I had been watching too many court/law television shows. You know, the ones with the evidence in the little plastic bags and the dramatic turns of events. At the beginning, I saw the judge talking with the doctor that kept dropping by to check up on me. Why was he at the hearing? That didn't matter because at this time, that was the least of my worries. The foundation of our family depended on the outcome of this hearing. Randy, Cherry and some other Socs that were at the park that night were there. They were all truthful. They all said that Bob was drunk and asking for a fight but kept saying that Johnny had the knife. Even Cherry, who I thought would never lie about something so serious. I knew that I could fix this misconception soon enough...

When the judge got to question Soda, Darry and I about the whole incident, he really didn't stick to the topic. He just asks if Dally was our friend, about my grades in school and about how I like living with Darry. I was kinda bummed out that I didn't get to tell the judge that I had killed Bob but it doesn't really matter. I realized that the doctor had been telling the judge about our situation at home and to focus on that. Luckily, the judge acquitted me of any charges. This was a relief. Now I could go back to a normal life. It was all over; I had finally got things straightened out.

But life didn't go back to normal. For some reason, I was never hungry. Everything just tasted like bologna... As well as the loss of my eat-like-a-horse-habits, I also became extremely forgetful. I remember once I walked all the way home from school and didn't notice I had forgot my shoes until Two-Bit made some sly remark about my brightly-coloured socks. Also, my grades weren't doing so well. Usually I'm a whiz at English but now I could barely hold a passing grade. In fact, I didn't. At the end of term, my English teacher gave me an ultimatum - write a good end of year semester theme and he'd give me a C grade. This seemed like a good deal as my past grades had been.... lower than a C.

Even after we won the rumble, the Socs still wouldn't leave us alone. Once when Two-Bit, Steve and I were hanging at the Dingo and three Socs came by and threatened me cause I was the reason Bob was dead. I had enough of this crap. I finished the pop I was drinking and smashed it. They weren't going to do nothing; they didn't have the guts. Not like I did. I didn't care about any of this anymore. Those scardy-cats Socs tucked their tails between their legs and drove off. Two-Bit came out of the store and started freakin'. He kept asking me if I would've used the bottle. Of course I would've - if they made a move to attack me. I started picking up the glass that had fell on the road. I didn't want anyone to pop a tire. Two-Bit said, "You ain't like us Pony. You're different. Don't try to change." I knew he was right. I could never hurt anybody. I was different...

I got home and tried to start my theme. I really did. But I just couldn't Soda was acting weird. He usually jumps into the house with a grin on his face; ready to tackle any challenge that comes his way. But today he just walked in and slumped down on the couch, cigarettes clenched between his trembling fingers. I asked if anything was wrong but he just shrugged and said everything was fine. He cooked dinner that night. I was surprised when our meal came out a normal colour and it tasted decent. Darry and I got into an argument. Arguments between us were much more frequent nowadays. When we asked for Soda's opinion, he started mumbling and then burst out of the house. I guess we never really paid enough attention to Soda. Because of his flamboyant attitude we always took it that he had no problem. Now he had gone and blown up. Darry showed me a letter on the table that Soda had. Darry said it was to Sandy, and that it was returned unopened. Now I realized that Soda had every reason to blow up. Darry and I ran out after him. We saw Soda take a corner so I took a short-cut and took him out. We all fell to the ground, gasping for breath. Suddenly, Soda started crying. He said that he hated it when we fought. He felt like the middle man in a tug-of-war. I wanted to cry to but couldn't come to it in front of Soda and Darry. They knew and didn't have to use words to respond with their feelings. Soda made us promise that no one would fight anymore and we agreed. We decided to race back home. It wasn't really a race though. We all stayed beside each other this beautiful night. Like a family. Because we knew that no matter who arrived first, we were all winners.

I had to get back to my English theme though. I decided that it wouldn't hurt to read for inspiration. I had read almost everything in the house so finding a new book was a challenge. From the corner of my eye I saw the copy of Gone With The Wind that Johnny had given to me. I picked it up and flipped through its crisp pages. From the depths of the book a piece of paper fell out. At first I thought I had accidentally ripped a page out but as I started to read it I found out it was a note from Johnny. He says he doesn't care about dying now and it was worth saying those kids from the burning church. He tells Pony to keep enjoying sunsets and to stay gold forever. The letter ends with Johnny saying that there is still a lot of good in the world. It was as if a giant veil over the doorway a life was lifted. I could finally continue with my life now that I wasn't fretting about what had happened in the past. It reminded me of a few weeks ago when I heard Two-Bit complaining because when the police searched Dally they had lost his prized switch. Steve asked "Is that switch really bothering you do much?" and Two-Bit said, "No but I wish it was. It is a classic case of denial. And now I have faced up to the facts and can move on.

After reading the letter from Johnny, I realized what I wanted to do with my life. Too many people live like us and are shunned from civilization because of our financial status and our differences. I decided to make my life goal to tell everybody I could about the problems and struggling underprivileged children like myself had to face every day. I hoped my actions would bring about changes in the lives of people like myself. Something popped into my head; my English theme would be the perfect place to start my journey! I called up my English teacher and asked him if my theme could be a bit longer than expected. He said it was fine. So, I put pen to paper and wove a tapestry of fine words that, hopefully, would one day change the world.

I know a lot of people would have wanted all of this to be avoided but I think it was necessary. I lost two people very important to me in these past few weeks. But, without them, without anything that had happened, all this would've changed. If we had decided to go and get a pizza instead of go to the Nightly Double, none of this would've happened. If we had sat an extra few rows back at the Double, none of this would've happened. If Johnny hadn't stood up to his hero and tell him to back off, none of this would've happened. Johnny is the real one we should thank today. He came from a family that wanted nothing to do with him so we adopted him in a way. In the end though, we knew that we were the lucky ones. Good people are hard to find these days, and Johnny was a good person. He helped a society of outcasts merge with the rest and become normal. His words and his actions helped change the world.